Let's make one thing clear from the outset, shall we? Sometimes people are afraid they're "perverts" if they use toys, when really, nothing could be further from the truth. Using sex toys says something vitally true about a person, something fundamental and undeniable. A person who uses sex toys is someone who isn't afraid to seek out pleasure, who isn't afraid to be daring and bring a little excitement into their sex life.
The moral of the story is a simple cliche: Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Trite but true, my friends; this is the best lesson I ever learned. Simply put, you owe it to yourself to explore a myriad of sexual possibilities. Too many people out there are settling when it comes to sex! Now, I'm not saying that regular sex sessions aren't fantastic (my boyfriend would kill me if I said that), but it's always nice to add a little something different to the mix now and then. Look at it this way: A bowl of ice cream is wonderful in and of itself, but sometimes you want a little whipped cream and chocolate syrup on top. The variety of toys available is simply mind-boggling ~ no matter what you're into, there's something out there for you.
So, let's start with the basics: What are you into? Take a few minutes to think about what makes you feel gooooooood. Let your mind wander, fantasize a little, and envision the sort of sensations that titillate you the most. If you have trouble getting inspired, think of scenes from movies or passages from books that made your skin flush and your pulse quicken. And remember, this doesn't have to be hard-core pornography ~ envision situations and feelings that seduce all five of your senses. Don't be afraid to be selfish, and think about yourself and your pleasure. Let yourself get carried away. If you're in a relationship, envision things you might like to try with your partner, or toys that might interest him or her.
Once you know what you want, it's time to focus on how to get it. There are hundreds of different toys and other adult products to choose from. Some people like to explore on their own, others like to play with their partner. The best rule of thumb is to follow your instincts. If you find yourself a little intimidated, start out simple and remember what it is that intrigues you. If you like a lot of skin-to-skin contact, massage oils, flavored dusts, or edible lotions are a great way to start. Feeling naughty? A little bit of "punishment" with restraints and sensation toys like cuffs and blindfolds or whips should be right up your alley. (And remember, whips don't have to be painful; on the contrary, when used with a gentle touch, the feeling is exquisite!) I personally believe there should be a vibrator in every bedroom; there are speeds and intensities for every preference. You can use them anywhere that tickles your fancy, and they can be quite nice for men as well as women. If you've never used a vibrator before, you might want to start out with a lower-intensity version at first. Don't be afraid to ask questions, either; your distributor will be more than happy to tell you all about them.
Now, a word for those of you who are in relationships. I know it can be hard to talk about new things you'd like to try, especially if your bedroom style has been a bit vanilla in the past. But think about it for a minute...you're telling your partner that you have some seriously fun ideas to make your hot sex life even hotter. Who isn't going to be intrigued by that? Go for the gusto, baby! (I won't blame you if you bring up the subject after a margarita or two.) Playing a game might be the best way to introduce toys into your sexual routine; you can get games made just for that purpose, or just go with the old standby, Truth or Dare.
Once you've got your toy box stocked, it's time to get down to business. There's no wrong way to use toys, as long as what you're doing is safe and feels good! In terms of safety, make sure you keep your toys clean and in good repair; some materials can harbor bacteria if not properly cleaned after use. If you want to get frisky in the shower or hot tub, make sure your toy is specifically made to be waterproof. Don't share them with your friends, of course. Most importantly, remember to have fun!
And one final note: If you have kids, you might want to invest in a locking box for your toys. My best friend was cooking breakfast one morning, when her child walked in with her favorite vibrator and asked, "Hey, Mom, what's this for?"
"Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So....get on your way." Dr Seuss